


Of obligations, duty and freedom

by Twykad



Series: Of Shadowhunters and a glittery Warlock [9]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Jace wants to be a dad, Magnus and Jace are BROTP sometimes, Parabatai Feels, angsty, he need advices, lot of feels, lot of love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 21:21:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8463370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twykad/pseuds/Twykad
Summary: Jace wants to be a dad, Clary panics.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Okay guys, so, let me explain, I have this friend who doesn't want kids and get pressured by her family, I'm sure that she isn't the only one on this situation and I just wanted to write something to sooth anyone who have to get through this pressure, I wanted to write something that says "it's okay if you don't want a kid."
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it <3

Jace had been thinking about it for a little while now, but after baby sitting Max, his adorable nephew, he was sure, he wanted a baby; a baby with Clary, his wife. He did know yet how to bring the subject with her. He thought that she would talk about it first but she didn’t. She never talked about children and Jace wondered if she didn’t dared or if she thought that, because of what they were doing for a living, he wouldn’t agree. Maybe she thought that he would think that it was too soon since they had only been married for four months.

 

“Hello, Goldilocks.”

 

Magnus voice made him startled. He turned to face the warlock who had an amused smirk on his face. His arms was crossed and his clothes as extravagant as ever.

 

“Magnus, hi.”

“You were so lost in your thoughts you didn’t even noticed me, I’m disappointed in you.”

“What do you want?” Jace asked, rolling his eyes.

“I want to know where my fiancé is. There is a ward problem, apparently.” Magnus said, grinning with malice.

“Gross.”

Magnus snorted. “Think whatever you want.”

“He is in his office for the moment, but, I will train with him in the afternoon so, _please_ -“

“We’ll be good, don’t worry.” Winked the warlock making Jace grimaced.

 

The blond shadowhunter shook his head and sighed. He hesitated but as Magnus was about to leave the room he couldn’t help himself.

 

“Magnus!”

“Hmm?” answered the warlock turning.

“When did you and Alec knew you wanted a child?”

 

***

 

Magnus hadn’t been expecting this question from Jace. He frowned slightly and went back to him.

 

“Why are you asking that? Did Clary ask you about having a kid?”

“No… Actually…I’m the one who is thinking about it. I don’t know what she thinks.”

“I see.” He fidgeted his rings, thinking. “Well,” he said after a moment. “Alec and I had this pillow talk coming naturally. If I remember well, after our coffee date, we passed by a school and one of the kids ran into Alec, and in the night, we talked about children.”

“You make it look easy…”

“Well, not everyone is a relationship goal.” He smiled. “But we then talked about it several times, and more and more often and we both wanted it. We talked about the pro and cons and then one day Catarina called me.”

“And Max arrived in the family.”

“Yes.”

 

Magnus smiled again at the memory. He patted Jace’s shoulder.

 

“I think you shall just talk with Clary.”

“I guess… Thank you.”

“You’re quite welcome, and I would love talking more about kids with you but I need to join Alec.”

“Yeah… for the ‘ward problem’”

 

Magnus leaved the room with a laughed.

 

***

 

Clary arrived not long later, all dressed for the training. Jace smiled at her. He loved how she dressed for training. He threw her a stick and invited and they quickly started to “fight”. She wasn’t struggling as she had when she had just arrived at the institute and he couldn’t be prouder of the shadowhunter she had become. But he was still better than her, and he liked to make her remember that. One more move and she was on the floor. And it wasn’t the time for asking but the words flew out of his mouth.

 

“What do you think about kids?”

“What do I think about what?”

“Kids.” He repeated as he watched her getting up.

 

She paled and he pursed his lips, worried.

 

“I think we should talk about this later…” She answered with a faint voice, as if the thought made her dizzy.

 

***

 

Jace wanted a baby. Why? Don’t get Clary wrong; she _liked_ babies, they were cute, adorable though noisy, but mainly oh so loveable. Yes, Clary liked Max, she liked babies but that _didn’t_ mean she actually _wanted_ one. But Jace did and all she wanted now was to _scream_. She knew whomever she would talk to about it would be _excited_ and ask when they _plan_ to have one. She groaned and gave up whatever she was doing. Maybe her mother would understand?

Getting at her mom and Luke’s place didn’t take too long. No one lived very far from the institute anyway. She rang the door and it was Luke who opened to her.

 

“Hey Clary,” He welcomed her with a smile. “How are you? Aren’t you supposed to train?”

“Hey Luke, Izzy and Simon are training now so I have some free time. I need to talk to my mom, is she there?”

“Go in,” He said letting her enter. “You almost missed her; she just went back from an errand… JOCELYN! CLARY’S HERE!”

 

Clary had rarely been that relieved to see her mom since the entire Valentine, Sebastian stuff and all that crap, she didn’t want to think about it anymore, mind her. She went to hug Jocelyn who smiled at her and kissed her temple.

 

“I really needed to see you.” She whispered to her mother.

 

They went to the kitchen and Luke leaved them alone. Her mother put her hand on hers as she felt that there was something wrong. She opened her mouth to ask but Clary cut her.

 

“Jace wants to have a baby.” She blurted out.

 

Jocelyn’s face brightened.

 

“Oh my God, Clary this is wonderful!”

 

She wanted to scream again. No. It wasn’t wonderful. Not. At. _All_.

 

“As a woman, you must feel so _excited_!” Her mom went on.

 

No. She _didn’t_. What was this thing about women feeling excited about the idea of having a baby? Why did everyone think that being a woman meant wanting children?

 

“Well… Mom… Actually…”

 

***

 

Clary hadn’t returned on the afternoon and Jace was growing worried that he might have upset her. He couldn’t focus well and Alec was totally kicking his ass until he himself get piss, throw the stick on the floor.

 

“Ok Jace, let’s stop her and talk to me. What’s your problem?” He asked wiping           his sweat with a towel.

 

The blond shadowhunter sighed and went to sit next to his brother.

 

“I talked to Clary about having a baby and… Her reaction was… Wasn’t what I was expected.”

“A baby? You want to be a dad?”

“Well… Yeah, after babysitting Max it was clear to me.”

“Ok… And how did Clary react? Why wasn’t it what you expected?”

“I… I thought she would be happy, and totally open at the idea but… She paled and told me that we’ll talk about it later.”

“Well, maybe she doesn’t want to have a child.”

“But she is a _woman_. Haven’t we always learn that-”

“Wow, _Jace_! Don’t be the _patriarchy_! Also we have learnt that we, male shadowhunters are _supposed_ to be with female shadowhunters and… Look at me! I’m with a _downworlder_ who, also, happen to be a _male_!”

“Okay, yeah, you’re right. But if she doesn’t want to have a child, what do I do?”

“You accept it, _Jace_. You’re her _husband_ and you _love_ her. What else could you do?”

 

***

 

Clary was waiting for Jace at their house. She was on the kitchen, elbows on the table and head in her hands. Her mother had described to her the joy of being a mom, the overwhelming feeling of giving birth, but it didn’t attract Clary. She didn’t want to have a human being growing _inside_ her. Not to mention she didn’t know how she could be great mother. She wasn’t like her mother after all. The click of the door startled her.

 

“Sweetheart?” She heard her husband call.

“Kitchen Sunshine…” Clary answered with a shaky voice.

“Hey… Are you ok?” He asked when he get here.

 

She shook her head. What was the point to lie? He sat down next to her and but his arm around her shoulders. She looked up at him. He had a reassuring smile on his face. She weakly smiled back.

 

***

 

Jace felt sorry; it looked like his wife had had a harsh day because of him. He kissed her lightly.

 

“Do you want to talk about it now?” He asked carefully.

 

She nodded. He then got up and went to prepare them some hot chocolate. Once it was done he sat before her.

 

“How do you feel about children Clary?”

“I like kids, Jace but…”

“Do you want a baby?”

“No… I’m sorry…” She said before bursting into tears.

 

He jumped on his feet and went to embrace her.

 

“I know people expect me to want children, I _should_ but… but…”

“Shhh… It’s okay sweetheart… It’s okay…”

“Why does everyone expect every woman to have at list one child?”

“Clary…”

 

***

 

Clary bite her lips. She was so scared to disappoint Jace, she was so scared to loose him only because she didn’t want to have children, because she did _not_ want fulfil what her body was made for. What if was angry? She felt panic rising on her body and she started hyperventilating.

 

“I feel like it’s my duty, I feel obligated and… I… I don’t want it to be an obligation. It’s scaring me. It’s scaring me so much. Why do I have to do that Jace? Don’t leave me please… Plea-”

“Clary, Clary sweetheart please look at me…”He cut her gently, cupping her teary cheeks. “Breathe sweetheart, slowly, I’m here, breathe, like this, inhale, exhale…” She complied. “Yes like that, you’re doing great.”

 

Few minutes later, she was breathing normally again, her eyes locked into Jace worried ones. He didn’t look angry. He still stared at her with love and affection, and everything she loved seeing on those gorgeous golden eyes.

 

“Listen to me, Clary, you don’t _have_ to get pregnant.” He soothed softly. ”You have _no_ obligation whatsoever, God… _Clary_ … If you are not ready to have baby, I shall not force you. It’s your right to not want one yet.” He placed a lock behind her ear. “Having a baby _isn’t_ a duty or an obligation. Not for me, and it will never be. _Yes_ , I want a child but what I want the most is my wife, the _love of my life_ to be happy.”

“But what if I’m never ready? What if I _never_ want a child?”

“Then I guess Max and all my future nephews or nieces will be the most spoiled kids ever.” He answered with a smile.

 

Clary let out a relieved laugh at that. Her husband was perfect. He was so perfect, so nice…So full of love…

 

“Thank you… And I love you.” She whispered.

“I love you too.” He answered kissing her.

 

And she knew that, no matter what, baby or not, everything will be okay, he will _always_ love her and she will _always_ love him.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos (and comments) are appreciated ^^


End file.
